He is safe with me, almighty whispers in my ears in the moments of utter silence. Don’t be selfish and cry over your pity thoughts, he says. Deep inside you know you will be with me soon, he assures. Just finish the finish line with complete faith. Help the ones who are still ignorant and therefore miserable, task he assigns. Just be still and not be afraid as I am your savior, he confirms. Stillness is a language god speaks and everything else is just wrong translation. Stillness that pervades the nature, stillness in early hours. When I am still I am who I am beyond my temporary existence and who I will be when this body diminishes.. To be aware of little quiet things I have to be quiet inside. A high degree of alertness is required. Just to be still, look, listen and be present, just sense my own presence in unveiled being ness which is untouched by young, old, rich or poor, good or bad attributes. There is a tendency in me that clings to the known. Anytime there is change which moves me away from the known, my whole existence seem to diminish under the clouds of fear and anxiety. Stepping into the unknown had always been my biggest fear. Not to mention I had to step into the unknown numerous time. Each time something shifted inside me and the person that existed on both sides of events was hardly similar at all. I guess I was not learning life’s lessons fast enough and had to completely change the course of my life. Life rarely unfolds the way we want to. But it takes a very powerful event to move your head around and you never look back. It was about time for this disaster to take place. Yajush left his earthly body to create a space in my life for my spiritual awakening. Spiritual awakening is an act of grace. It can happen to a sinner first than a saint. God wanted me to change the course of my life. If I am not awake now then when. Some times things that appear to be negative on surface have deeper positive meaning inside. For Yajush who had seen dimensions beyond could not exist in this plane it was time for him to move to higher dimensions and frequencies and me in my earthly body had to make many changes and get rid of numerous blockages to meet his frequencies and vibrations, if I wanted to make connection with him stronger. All that is required is to become free of ego. Ego plays its dirty dance and has the ability to sneak in thru tiniest of a hole. Ego’s intention is the need to stand out, be special, be in control, the need for attention and for more. Ego’s main intent is to create separateness. The underlying emotion of ego is of fear, Fear of being nobody, fear of non existence which is similar to death. Ego plays a similar role in both materialistic and spiritual people. Ego surfaces among worldly people in trying to make impressions on others thru possessions, knowledge, looks, status, physical strength and so on.. It also sneaks in among spiritual people by showing off their renunciation( giving away) of worldly things. I clearly see ego inside me oscillating between above two states. I think this is first state of awareness, whenever I see ego taking charge I pull the chair underneath its power. I have miles to go and places to see and people to meet. All of the above is not possible with heavy baggage of ego. I plan to travel light and leave the weight behind. I completely surrender myself and will watch the things unfold. I trust at one point there will be no struggle, jus deep peace that comes from surrendering to a perfection that is beyond comprehension.
Sapna Rana
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